The Crucible® Approach to Marital and Sex Therapy

Constructing the Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy

The Crucible Approach is an integrated therapy approach to sex, intimacy, and relationship problems developed by Dr. David Schnarch. This is the professional version studied by clinicians around the world, and taught in Crucible® Workshops for therapists. It is the heart of the renowned MFHC Intensive Therapy Program, conducted by the founders of this amazing method.

The Crucible Approach fundamentally differs from all prior sex therapies and marital therapies. It is the first core integration of these two different fields (which actually developed completely separate from each other.) As a result, the Crucible Approach differs from the basic theories, philosophies, and practices of conventional sex therapy and conventional marital therapy.

First, the Crucible Approach differs from the sex therapies developed by Drs. Masters and Johnson's to treat sexual dysfunctions, and Dr. Helen Singer-Kaplan's approach to sexual desire problems. There are no "sensate focus" exercises, no homework assignments, and no "bans" or proscriptions. There is no concept of "client resistance," and no focus on "unconscious processes." Rather than telling clients what to do, or how to do it, the Crucible Approach works with clients' spontaneous sexual behavior as a window into people and their relationship. In contrast to Masters and Johnson's famous "Use it or loose it" philosophy, the Crucible Approach proposes most people are much better in bed as they mature ("Cellulite and sexual potential are highly correlated!")

Second, the Crucible Approach differs from conventional couples therapy by not teaching communication skills, empathic listening, or compromise and negotiation.

The Crucible Approach differs from conventional therapies in other ways:

The intensity level is far greater.
The pace of treatment is much faster.
Treatment focuses on helping partners handle their anxiety better, rather than encouraging constant anxiety-regulation by accommodation and lock-step reciprocity.
The therapist's differentiation plays a critical role in treatment.

In 1991, Dr. Schnarch was the first therapist to describe a pattern of repeated conflict in love relationship (called emotional gridlock) which transcends culture, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, and historical era. Emotional gridlock is not resolvable by conventional conflict-resolution methods such as enhanced communication, and compromise and negotiation, or agreeing to disagree. The Crucible Approach is the first therapy specifically designed to resolve emotional gridlock.

After two decades of development, this treatment approach was released to professional therapists through the ground-breaking book, Constructing the Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy (W.W. Norton & Co., 1991) and related training workshops. The Crucible Approach was immediately hailed as the first major innovation in sex therapy in three decades. Other experts have called it the most sophisticated integration of eroticism, intimacy, spirituality, personal development, and relationship systems ever developed.

The Crucible Approach is based on differentiation-the ability to maintain yourself while maintaining relationships with others. It applies psychiatrist Murray Bowen's theory of differentiation to sex and intimacy in ways Dr. Bowen never did. The Crucible Approach is based on a non-pathological view of common difficulties in love relationships, like sexual dysfunctions, sexual disinterest, emotional estrangement, and stalemated conflict. It embraces a healthy view of human resilience, personal growth, and life-long sexual development.

In developing the Crucible Approach, Dr. David Schnarch coined many new terms to describe intricate relationship processes he discovered. Many of these terms have become standard ways therapists' conceptualize and describe relationships, including:

Emotional gridlock	Two-choice dilemmas	Self-soothing
Sexual potential	Collaborative alliance	Collaborative confrontation
Normal marital sadism	Self-validated intimacy and other-validated intimacy	Leap of faith
Intimacy need vs. intimacy tolerance

Moreover, the Crucible Approach contains an unprecedented set of "tools for connection" to enhance intimacy and sexuality, promote self-regulation, and improve relationship stability and individual function by enhancing differentiation. These include:

Hugging 'till relaxed	Eyes-open sex and orgasms	Heads on pillows
Feeling while touching	Foreplay is a language	Psychological dimensions of sex

Dr. Schnarch has identified twelve foundational principles of human sexual desire. The Crucible Approach to desire problems has been showcased in leading textbooks for professionals, including the latest edition of Principles and Practices of Sex Therapy (Guilford Press).

This ecological approach to treatment harnesses the normal-but-difficult processes and inevitable conflicts of love relationships that couples outside their comfort zones. Interventions made in the differentiation-based Crucible Approach are often diametrically opposite those made in conventional "attachment-based" or "communication-based" therapies.

In summary, the Crucible Approach is unique because it is:

The first core integration of sexual and marital therapy.
The first identification and treatment of emotional gridlock.
The first application of differentiation theory to sexual problems.
The first therapy to approach sex and intimacy as a non-reducible whole, rather than as communication skills or "touch" techniques.
The first intimacy-based approach to sexuality (differing from "sensate focus" methods).
The first sex therapy to use couples problems to facilitate personal growth.
The first marital and sex therapy to help people reach their sexual potential, rather than merely resolve "dysfunctions."

You can purchase Constructing the Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy (W.W. Norton & Co., 1991) at our on-line store.

All materials, and contents of this website, unless otherwise noted, are copyright 1991-2008 by David Schnarch, Ph. D. All rights reserved. Intellectual property laws also apply. No reproduction for any reason is permitted.

"Sexual Crucible®", "Crucible®", "Crucible Approach™", "Passionate Marriage®", "Passionate Couples™", "Resurrecting Sex™", "Intimate Proposals™", and "Harnessing the natural processes of differentiation in emotionally committed relationships™" are trademarks and service marks of David Schnarch, Ph. D.